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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments often turn “highly unrealistic”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are typically coming after a “sudden low”, a period when he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his actions, leaving him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits online – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis if he hadn’t already reached that conclusion personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they experience feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Though people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, due to so much stigma around the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Although three-quarters of people identified as having narcissistic personality disorder are men, findings indicates this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, just kind of like everything in society,” notes an individual who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I completely shut down.” Despite having this behavior – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “operate with an understanding where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and says she lacked positive role models as a child. “I’ve been learning over the years which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were belittling me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Genetics play a role,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and life achievements, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for talking therapy through national services (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he explains. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number